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The Art Of The Toast
No matter how carefully the bride and groom planned every detail of the wedding, there's
a wild card: the best man's toast. Letting loose the best man's tongue on an audience
composed of your close friends and relatives requires a leap of faith almost as large as marriage
itself. After all, most brides probably have a pretty good idea of how the groom will answer at
the altar, but what will come flying out of the best man's mouth at the reception is
anyone's guess. For peace of mind here are seven simple tips to win the audience over.
Keep your balance: The toaster needs to combine preparation with informality to create the
sublime effect of rehearsed spontaneity. Mark Twain said it usually takes more than three weeks
to prepare a good impromptu speech. He wasn't kidding. Nothing is worse than the airy
declarations delivered by ill-prepared best men, which usually go something like this:
"Jack's a really great guy. And Jill's a really super person. And they're
really wonderful together. And they've just gotten married. And we're all here.
And they're serving free champagne. And it just occurred to me that I have nothing to say."
Twain knew of what he spoke. Any aspiring public speaker should heed his warning. The first
week of preparation you simply figure out what it is you want to say; the second week, you
memorize your speech; and the third, you learn it well enough to improvise.
Don't read the toast to the audience. The audience should be able to recognize that a
toast has been well-prepared without being handed the evidence.
Structure the toast in logical stages that build to a satisfying zenith. Successful toasters
often start with a slightly self-effacing introduction, which serves two purposes. It answers
the question, Why is he up there? And in poking fun at himself, the toaster is then able to
have a bit of sport with the newlywed couple. You might try something like, "I've
known the groom since high school and still owe him money, and so I'm fulfilling the role
of best man as part of a work-release program."
Tell a personal story, preferably involving both parties, to turn the attention from toaster to
toastees. Recounting their first meeting or the early stages of their courtship usually works.
Keep allusions to the past in good taste. Stories about the day the groom discovered a pair of
lace underwear in his laundry bag are best told at the bachelor party. And don't ever consider
telling questionable stories about the bride.
Add a universal, timeless tone by citing literature, song lyrics, even an older relative. Visit
your library or a bookstore for a book of quotations, and look under the listings for "marriage,
love, hope, heart, happiness," etc.
Don't overstay your welcome. Brevity is the soul of wit, as everyone knows, and it's
also the soul of wisdom. As one younger brother was advised by his sister before his first public
address, "Just make it good and keep it short." After the speech he asked how it went.
"It was short," she assured him. Remember that mediocrity will be excused more quickly
than verbosity. Cheers.
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